RAE STREET

2 things essential to a good storyteller:

1. Knowing where to start
2. Knowing when to stop

It’s time for me to clean my room. I’ve started on three different books this week, only because I haven’t been able to find any of them again after putting them down for a break.

Ladies in Australia, if you haven’t yet been vaccinated against cervical cancer, now is the time to have it done. The free vaccination program for 18-26 year-olds ends in June 2009, only 8 months from now. Keep in mind that the vaccination course is over 6 months, with three injections: the first, 2 months after, and 6 months after.

After the free service ends, each injection will cost $150. So, what’s it gonna be? Do I have to call your doctor for you?

Broken in Translation: Go to http://www.windowslivetranslator.com/Default.aspx and translate “Barack Obama” from English -> German

- @andrewsayer

mollylambert:

The Little Penguin (Eudyptula minor) is the smallest species of penguin being about 43 cm (16 in) tall. It is found on the coastlines of southern Australia and New Zealand, with possible records from Chile.

They have several common names. In Australia, they are referred to as Fairy Penguins because of their tiny size. In New Zealand, they are called Little Blue Penguins, or just Blue Penguins, owing to their indigo-blue plumage, and they are called Kororā in Māori.

Adorable penguins (are there any other kind? even King (oops) Emperor penguins are toddler-like) aside, there are also the quokka:

(image credit: http://www.richardandjo.com/australia_perth.html)

And the wombat:

Wombats, though known to be dangerous, are painfully comical to look at. They resemble furry, blundering boulders, and stories abound of their being run into by cars and bumbling away unscathed.

On a recent drive home from some time in the country, we passed about six or seven instances of native roadkill. Most were roos, but there was one wombat. The sense of tragedy was heightened by the otherwise funny scene of a stout creature on its side with its short little legs in the air.

Can samples of a song be used the same way a woman is objectified: reduced to a number of publicly-recognisable parts in order to tittilate? Everyone knows just the chorus of at least one popular song; there are those who regard just the tits or ass or score-out-of-ten-ness of others.

EDIT: both also used to sell things!

“I think I’m not just thin; I’m skinny,” B confesses on Sunday. “What do you think?”

I give him a look. It’s the look you would give an always-been-skinny friend of yours who asked you if you thought they were skinny.

Later, pretending to race down a steep, gravel-pitted walking track somewhere in King Lake, his pants slip down so far there is an inch of pale flesh between the bottom of his underpants and the top of his pants. (This happens twice).

Here’s me, suddenly thinking I know why your X left your Y.

Ah, dear 80-cent-cold-drink-dispensing, Pepsi-advertising-labelled vending machine! Firstly, you sell Coke products! Secondly, you say you’re out of regular  Coke, so I push you for Coke Zero, and you give me regular anyway!

I’ve been tagged by Shimona to do the following:

Tell everybody 5 facts about yourself. Usually something unique or that you think few people know about you.

At the end of your facts. Tag 5 people (list their names down) and those people who are tagged will write 5 facts about themselves and tag 5 other people and so on and so forth!

I oblige, with:

1. I drove myself, alone, to get tested for my driving license. Parked a block away from the testing centre, walked there, passed, got my license and drove home.
2. There was a phase when the girl I was living with and I used to routinely steal Asahi beer glasses from the club across the road from our apartment. Neither of us were particularly domestic, and we both are quite clumsy, so sneaking five or six glasses home under our jackets on a Saturday night was a two-birds-one-stone solution: household items that were easily replaced when broken!
3. I have very good dreams. Vivid, and sometimes lucid. Even if they’re bad, their consequence in waking life is usually hilarious enough to make up for it, like the time I dreamt I was pregnant and dumped by my boyfriend: I woke up, bared my teeth and snarled at him, then kicked him in the shin. I still laugh about that one.
4. I lie a lot, especially when I work. Mostly about whether I’ve tried some of the dishes on the menu and what they taste like, sometimes about my background and family. I’ve never felt bad about it; being a waiter is an act. Learn the script, then perform it. I’ve sold ox cheek and crocodile and camel dishes without having tasted any of them, based solely on others’ descriptions. 
5. Lately, I’ve been beginning many of my sentences with, “There’s an iPhone app that does just that!..”

Tag: Rayni and Faith, and 3 blanks, yay! because I’m a loser and have no blog friends, boo-f’in-hoo.